Some people think that they have to compare themselves to others in order to gauge how well they’re doing in life. Most people compare their weaknesses to the strengths of others forgetting that those people have weaknesses too. You can never be like someone else and nobody can be like you. This means that you will always find someone who has a uniqueness that is different from yours. Instead of appreciating the other person’s uniqueness as their own, you may begin to compare yourself with them. That is called unfair comparison. Comparing yourself with others is serving injustice to yourself. Since everyone is meant to be unique, comparison will always be unfair. Comparing yourself to others can also make you think you are better than them and also give you a wrong picture of yourself. Pride comes before a fall.
Comparing yourself to others makes you unable to appreciate the achievement of others and draw inspiration from them. It makes you competitive with others in a toxic way and lowers your self-esteem.
There are practical ways to help you stop comparing yourself to others.
- Awareness and acceptance– Find out who you are. Become aware of your purpose, strengths, talents, and weaknesses. Accept and love your uniqueness no matter how weird or unsatisfactory it seems to you.
Love your past, your present, and your future because all that contributes to who you are and who you become. Learn from your past mistakes and let those lessons build you. Accept the circumstances that are beyond your control and take responsibility for what is within your control. You may not be satisfied with who you are today but it is where you’re going that matters. Gratitude is the bridge between awareness and acceptance. Be grateful for the things you have become aware of.
- Always strive to be a better version of yourself– Stop focusing on others. Focus on yourself. Water your own grass. Have a picture of whom you want to become years from now and start striving to be that person. Your life is measured in time. Losing time worrying over others’ achievement is cutting down on your own time. Count your time as precious and start focusing on you.
- Let go of fear and unrealistic expectations– Don’t be ruled by the fear of displeasing anyone. When you allow yourself to be controlled by unrealistic expectations that you set for yourself or that others have set for you, you’ll become obligated to meeting these expectations. The fear of failing to meet those expectations and the fear that results from failing to meet them makes you feel inadequate and that makes you to compare yourself to others. Set healthy and realistic expectations in line with your purpose and then strive to meet them. Never let fear guide your choices.
- Identify and avoid your triggers– Become aware of the people, associations, and environment that triggers you to compare yourself to others. One prime example is social media. Do a social media detox. Remember that other people’s “outsides” can’t be compared to your “insides”. Do not be carried away by everything displayed on social media.
In fact, anytime you find yourself falling into the trap of comparison, use that comparison as a motivation to improve what actually matters. Address your thought patterns and adjust your mindset often. The more you have certain patterns of thoughts, the more likely they will repeat themselves. Getting what you want will not always bring happiness.
Always remember that you can be anything but you cannot be everything. When you stop comparing yourself to others, you will become a better version of yourself. The most important things in life come from the inside, not the outside. Being yourself is the only game you can really win. If you want to know if you’re progressing in life, compare yourself to who you were yesterday and leave others out of the picture.