Sometimes it is difficult to accept the fact that the loves of our lives can possess awful qualities. How can someone be amazing, yet have such terrible habits. When you choose to overlook red flags for whatever reason, they can damage you in many ways. You do not want to settle for what you will get scars from. These are the things you should never tolerate in a relationship:
- They never seek your consent or respect your wishes: They never respect your boundaries. They try to control every decision you make and play victim if you remain firm, try to manipulate you into doing whatever they want you to do. It’s like your opinion and feelings do not matter as long as they can get whatever they want from you. They take major decisions without talking to you about it first.
- They lie a lot: Dishonesty is a huge red flag. If you notice that your partner always uses a lie to cover up something, lies about the big and small things, gives excuses for lies told, says one thing but means another, never honest about his/her opinion, you will always spend time trying to decipher the truth whenever they speak. That is exhausting.
- Lack of support: You’re starting a new business, and they have no advice, money, time, or energy to support you with. They don’t even care what business you’re into. They don’t care about your career goals, are never supportive whenever you’re going through an emotional breakdown, are too busy to listen to you whenever you’re talking about what’s bothering you. He/she wants to spend every dime you earn and never encourages you to save.
- Physical abuse: They always threaten to harm you or tried to hit you. You did something that they didn’t like, and they hit you “unintentionally”. If they hit you once, run twice.
- Emotional and verbal abuse: They always criticize you. They water down your aspirations. They embarrass and humiliate you, say the most hurtful words and call you names whenever they’re angry, joke about your insecurities and then despise you for not being able to take a joke, and are fond of giving you the silent treatment.
- Keeping the relationship a secret: They mustn’t let every citizen of the country know they’re in a relationship with you but if they can’t let the significant people (that won’t criticize the relationship) know, then they’re unsure about you.
- Infidelity: Also includes flirting with other people and being unduly emotionally attached to someone outside the relationship.
- Unmatched energy and effort: You took them to their favorite restaurant on their birthday, but they played video games throughout the day on yours and there wasn’t a national law restricting the freedom of movement or any related causes. You reply their texts on time, but they ignore your texts and calls all the time because their cat ran under the kitchen table. You listen to them whenever they have something to say but they always change the topic of conversation whenever you’re saying something. They also put in little effort into the relationship but expect high returns from you.
If you notice any of these behaviors in your relationship, it’s time for you to move on.