Emotional maturity is very important in every kind of relationship including the relationship you have with yourself. Emotional maturity helps you to react to situations properly. Everyone has a different level of emotional maturity. Your level of emotional maturity affects how much power you have over events that occur in your life. Emotional maturity is developed with willingness and constant practice. These are the major signs of emotional maturity:
- Taking responsibility for your actions and decisions: Your actions and decisions should not be dependent on how people treat you or the emotional effect of your circumstances but dependent on what you know is right and reasonable. Taking responsibility for your actions is not the same as self-blame. You must be someone that is able to recognize and admit when you’re wrong instead of defending yourself. Be willing to also make changes after accepting your wrongdoings.
“ The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life.” — Hal Elrod.
- Accepting your emotions and needs but not letting them control you: Your emotions are an indication of how a situation or person has affected you. You should be able to deal with the effect of an event or person and recognize/correct the impact they have had on you but how do you do that when you’re not willing to accept your emotions in the first place.
When you accept your emotions, you must react logically. You shouldn’t let those emotions control your response. Before you respond, think of how your response will affect you and others in the long run. Also think of how your response will correct the situation. Sometimes your response to a situation doesn’t pass across the message you intended because you let your emotions control your response.
- Sincerity and integrity: Be someone who walks and speaks in the truth, lives by the truth, and defends the truth both before others and even when you’re alone. Always do what you know is right. Sincerity also involves being realistic but with a positive mindset.
- Delayed gratification and self-control: Before you act, think of the effect of that action in the long run. Don’t be impulsive. Don’t do something just because it seems pleasurable at the moment. Apply restraint towards things that are of no value. Be willing to endure discomfort to find solution to your problem. Be resilient also and don’t let any ugly situation overwhelm you.
- Respect and diplomacy: An emotionally mature person is someone who speaks their truth with respect and civility. If you have a great opinion but speak without diplomacy, you will betray yourself. Don’t speak to belittle other people. Also be someone who values yourself. Respect yourself at all times and always mind your business.
- Emotional intelligence: You must put yourself in someone else’s shoes to understand them. Emotional intelligence involves being non-judgmental in analyzing the situation of others. Have care, concern, and empathy for others. Show gratitude to people and make the people in your life feel relevant by the way you relate with them. Show love even to the people you feel are undeserving. When relating with someone, go beyond the surface. Be willing to ask reasonable and deep questions that will make them feel you’re interested in understanding them. Understanding them will help you make the right analysis of them and understand how they think.
- Flexibility: An emotionally mature person has principles and lives by the truth but is also flexible as relating to circumstance. A mature person thinks outside the box and is also open to try out new things. Life is unpredictable and so, learn to adapt to things as they happen. That you should be someone who is flexible doesn’t mean you should be naïve. Be principled in dealing with situations but also give consideration to the context of the situation.
Emotional maturity is power. You should not let your emotions, people, or circumstances control you. Rather, take charge of your life.