All relationships are not the same but all healthy relationships have certain things in common. If two people are not compatible, they cannot even have a healthy relationship because their huge differences will be enough to make the relationship unhealthy. Love is not everything. You can love someone but you may have certain things about your attitude and the way you behave towards them that will hurt them. Nobody is perfect and that is why you have to know the difference between someone’s weaknesses and red flags. You have to know when to tolerate and when to run. You also have to know that it is possible for a relationship to be healthy and still have imperfections but if a relationship lacks these qualities, it is not a healthy relationship.
- Effort: There must be equal effort being invested into the relationship from both partners. Effort should not be given based on emotions. Emotions fluctuate. Effort should be given out of motivation. Motivation that arises from a goal. The goal of seeing your partner happy and satisfied is the greatest motivation for effort in a relationship.
- Respect: Respect must be given irrespective of the realization you now have of your partner’s imperfections. Respect should be given irrespective of gender, race, financial status, or age difference. The measure of respect in a relationship should never change no matter how long you both have been in the relationship. Respect should not dwindle during moments of anger or disagreement. Respect should not be given out of fear but rather, out of love and gratitude. Respect involves gratitude and a deep sense of appreciation for who your partner is and the little and big things they do for the good of the relationship. Respect means valuing your partner and appreciating their sense of worth on their good days and in their moments of weakness.
- Teachability: Teachability is the willingness to learn, correct your mistakes, grow, and aim higher. A proud person is not teachable. When both partners are teachable, their relationship will become way better as the days progress and they will become more knowledgeable on how to make each other happy.
- Compromise: Being able to make little sacrifices for your partner, appreciating your partner for the sacrifices they make, and reciprocating instead of just taking their sacrifices for granted is a huge symbol of love and a sign of healthy relationships.
- Friendship and freedom: Any friendship where there is no freedom is a fake friendship. You shouldn’t be friends with your partner just because it looks cute. You should be friends with your partner for real. With freedom comes friendship and vice versa. There should be freedom to be vulnerable without the fear of being judged or loved less. There should be freedom of honest communication and the effort to hear each other out till there’s nothing left to say should be there.
- Loyalty and trust: Trust is built where loyalty is active. Loyalty is disregarded where trust is taken for granted. When your partner has proven to be loyal, the only way to reciprocate is to trust them and be loyal to them in return.
- Tolerance: Everyone has weaknesses including your partner. Tolerate each other and forgive easily. Respect the tolerance your partner has for you.
- Sincerity and honesty: Don’t just be honest with your words. Be sincere about your motives, emotions, and needs too. Be honest no matter how scared you are to say the truth. Be open and vulnerable. This is a good way of building intimacy and strengthening the bond in a relationship.
- Pride and fulfillment: Happy couples are not ashamed of each other. They’re happy to introduce each other to the significant people in their life. They’re intentional in letting others know that they’re off the market. They let their partner know that they have no other options. Their partner is secure in the relationship because of this. They are proud to show their partner off to the world not with the aim of seeking attention but because they want to prove something to their partner. They want to continuously prove that they’re proud of their partner and will always be.